You are a reasonably competitive debater with a chance of breaking at the Canadian Universities Debating Championshps.

You are at a banquet where all of the teams are eagerly awaiting the break. Ben Sugars offers you $10,000 to stand on the table and scream at the top of your lungs for 30 seconds.

The proboscis monkey is an arboreal monkey (meaning that it lives among trees), found on the island of Borneo in Southeast Asia. It is known for its large nose. For the purposes of this debate, proboscis monkeys have the average IQ of a Hugill CA and $10000 in cryptocurrency after taking a deal from Ben Sugars at a debate tournament.

Flavio is a Dutch wizard, known for his smooth-talking, deal-making, and otherwise mischievous behaviour — picture an aura-maxxed magic car salesman. He generally wears robes, although he may wear khakis and loafers on a particularly hot day in order to blend in.

You are a travelling in Amsterdam with your partner and you cross paths with Flavio, who offers you the following deal: you will receive $10 million dollars if you can survive being chased by a blood-lusted proboscis monkey named 'Big Chungus' for 1 year.

Wild card spots are spots allocated to teams who did not qualify for elimination rounds through traditional means. For the purposes of this debate, a lottery wild card system is a system where a small portion of elimination round spots are given out based on random lottery.

The "break" in university debate tournaments refers to the set of teams who get to participate in the elimination rounds. For example, 8 teams at Hugill 2026 broke to the semi-finals.

During the 19th to 20th centuries, Siam (now known as Thailand) implemented large-scale changes to Buddhism. For the purpose of this debate, the "Siamese reforms" include:

(1) The creation of a new order of monks, the Thammayut, which promoted strict, text-based Buddhism with royal backing, 

(2) The centralization of all monks under a national hierarchy headed by appointees of the king, 

(3) The requirement that all monks belong to an officially recognized temple, and allowing only state-approved monks to ordain new monks. 

Siam was the only Southeast Asian country never formally colonized, despite widespread colonization of neighbouring countries.

Golden Retrievers are known for their friendly demeanor and high cute-factor as puppies.